The gems of grox (wtfanfiction)

The following abomination was written by an incredibly innocent 9-year-old, and may be triggering, offensive, and/or incredibly disturbing to some.  Enjoy.

Also: Spore, the Legend of Zelda, the Warriors series and all their characters/stuff do not belong to me.  Duh.



-CASTOR WILDS-
Deep within the Wind Ruins, Carpsong saw a beautiful flower.  Entranced by it's beauty, she plucked it from the ground.  A gust of wind blew, and Carpsong found herself in the underground city of Zekurokia.  A zekurok offered offered her a fruit, and after she ate it she could hear them and they could hear her.  She was offered a wand to create and seal portals to the surface.  She headed to the surface, and as she touched the grass, she turned into a tiny kitten. Scared, she ran home to Midnight, TCM and the others turned into the equivalent of a two-year-old human.  Link had grabbed a rattle and whacked Ganondorf  with it yelling "die Ganador, die" while Ganondorf yelled "Bad Link, bad Link".  TCM was performing the heimlich manuever on Clud, who swallowed his rattle.  Carpsong mewed in fear when Nabooru started jumping up and down while yelling like a angry parrot.  "Grrrrr" snarled Carpsong, then everyone froze.  Ruto fell face-first into the fishtank, and Link dropped his rattle on Ganondorf while Nabooru finally stopped bouncing up and down.  But then another gust of wind blew, and they turned  into five-year-olds.  Only Carpsong, Midnight, TCM, Blackfoot, and Silverfur were still there.  "There's only one place they could have gone" said Midnight "School".  They ran
-CASTLE TOWN-
to the school waiting at the front for the others.  Then, a black horse appeared from over a hill, it was Ganondorf heading the gerudos.  When they jumped off their horses they snickered evilly.  But a splashing noise  interupted them, along with a trumpet fanfare and the sound of hooves.  Ruto and Mikau jumped from the river, and Princess Zelda hopped of Beatuiy, while Link hopped of Epona.  Everything went smoothly until lunch.. The Gerduos pulled out some small knives and cut a hole in the bottom of Zelda's lunchbox, they tossed aside the peanut butter sandwich, but took the cupcake.    They handed it to Ganondorf who nommed it quickly, gave a crazed grin, and took off.  He bounced off the walls, the tables, the roof and even other kids an he what spazzo from the sugar, then as suddenly an he took of he collapsed on the ground.  Link grabbed a stick and poked him then he shot and yelled "SVOU SIMMEE SVGA!".  After he calmed down he said "Zelda, that cupcake was goooooooood." "Great" said Zelda, "I'll bring my camera tomorrow".  Four days later link said "I will draw the master sword from the pedestal of time." "And I'll earn a million rupees from a gem" muttered a goron, "Nabooru's head" Almost everyone started laughing, which made the gerudos angry.  They crawled under Ruto's chair and Ganondorf bit her leg while the other gerudos bit her ears, arms, fins, and even the top of her head.  She marched to the clinic and said "well doc, it started with a small nip on my leg, and well...". "Bob, can you send me a crowbar and some ice cream"  said the woman in the clinic, then she broke out laughing. "Well you think it's funny to have a bunch of sharp-toothed  four-year olds bite a zora princess?" Ruto questioned angrily.  "Oh I'm sorry, but you still look funny, especially since Ganondorf is starting to slide down your leg".  "Wait here's the crowbar and icecream" said the lady again.  "Wonderful, but what is the icecream for?" asked Ruto.  "you saw the scene in the cafeteria, they are crazy for sugar" she stated.  Bob first waved the icecream in their faces, which made a few of them hop off.  Then he grabbed the crowbar and pried the rest off.  Every day the gerudos, chose a victim and bit them, first Carpsong, then Midnight, the Darmint (?) and at the end of the week Princess Zelda was bitten and they demanded her head amulet return for them to let go,  Zelda went and handed it to them, but they still wouldn't let go.   So Zelda handed them the three spiritual stones, which they quickly nabbed and then let go of her.  The next day the teacher said they were going on a field trip to Kakariko village, Octo, and Pol's Point. All the gerudos thought"Oh, crud" because they all had allergigic to fresh or salt water.  so they would be fine, until they got to the port.  The permission slips  were given out and when they returned to the valley their parents didn't sign them.  Besides the 30th of April was the trials where they can finally earn their sword.  The first task was to show off their stash of stolen stuff.  They all gasped when Nabooru showed off all the stuff she got from Zelda.  Then they got a dummy and told them to bite it as hard as they could, and as a final they had to swipe a object from somebody.  Of all those who were tested, only 2 failed.  The next day Link wasn't at school, this made Ganondorf angry, he wanted to show Link he could beat him.  The next day thoughy, Link was back and he had the master sword with him.  At lunch Ganondorf and his followers chased Link into a corner.  "What are you going to do, bite my head off?" sneered Link. Nabooru pulled out her long, curved blade, and then stuck it against er neck and said "this is you". Link rolled his eyes, and then the rest of the gerudos grabbed theirs. "This is what you get when you mess with the "the circus freak"", Nabooru muttered.  Then all of a sudden, the lights turned off.  Little yellow lights were glowing all around Link. "Gah. ghosts!" screamed Link.  But the lights turned on, which revealed the "ghosts" to be the gems on foreheads of the gerudos.  As link backed away from one "ghost" he crashed into Ruto, who was hugging Ganondorf's face and shaking like mad. "Ruto, get oft ma fach", Ganondorf muttered. "Sorry it's just I get freaked out when the lights turned off suddenly, Ruto whimpered.  Midna's hair spazzed suddenly, sending everyone flying away, Nabooru landed in her tent, and Ganondorf felled on his face in Kokirint forest.  Link flew down and sat on Ganondorf, shoving his face in the dirt.  Midna landed in the peeing pool in The Zora's Domain.  She almost barfed when she read the sign that said, "Peeing pool, do not swim in water".  Meanwhile, Ruto was launched into the twilight realm, and Mikau landed in deku palace.  And, strangely enough, all the remaining gerudos landed in the pirate's fortress.
-ZEL-6-
When the spell broke, and everyone was theirselves again, Ganondorf maid his own theme park. He eventually hired many silver catngolias.  The catngolias were minions of Gonox, but thankfully, Ganondorf didn't quite trust them.  One night, Midnight and Link were trapped inside the park after the gates closed.  "We should go to the office they'll know what to do" said Midnight.  When they get to the office they shuddered, it was pretty spooky at night, thankfull the catngolias didn't notice them. They hitch-hiked on Ganondorf  and hid in one of the seats of the space-bus.  After he got off they  told the bus driver everything.  They ended up going to back to Loz world and sleeping in the office.  During the night; Midnight heard Link and Ganondorf yelling like they were being kidnapped. When she woke up in the morning, Link was gone and the office was in chaos!  Zekuroks ran back and forth and freaked out.  "Silence" ordered Galavax, "I was the head of the Catngolias so I will run the park until it's owner returns". "Booooo!" yelled the zekuroks and gorons, "we want Ganondorf, not you". Meanwhile, Midnight was sneaking out, and she just got back to the hotel .  All of a sudden a Grox appeared and...

-Insert hideous illustration here-

"Give me your guitar Mikau"
"I know Gonox's weakness"

-insert second ugly illustration


The gems of grox are scattered around,
All in places quite safe and sound,
Some may be with you while others may be found.
Part of one person is a gem of grox
Six of them, colors of the rainbow
Purple, blue, red, orange, green and yellow.
Look for the gems of grox

-SPORE GALAXY-

Then she vanished an Mikaus' guitar landed on the ground.  "Purple, blue, red, orange, green, yellow", recited TCM.  "I think purple is first  amd yellow is last" 12,000,004 said, "purple is in a zekurok cave on "earth"".  They got a spaceship and took off for Earth, when they arrived, it wasn't pretty.  Zekuroks shouted at Carpsong, and when they got to the throne room, Lulu's cat, Snooty was ordering zekuroks around.  "Hey, those were my people not yours, Snotty" taunted Carpsong. "Oh really, well if you want the purple gem in my crown  you have to fight me for it", scoffed Snooty. "Zelda, give me your sword," Carpsong requested.  Then Snooty grabbed a hidesous pink blade from behind her throne.  Carpsong flew above Snooty and kicked her in the face, knocking her over.  Then she leaped high in the air did a flip and stabbed Snooty, which ended the Zekurok confusion. "Zelda, do you want your sword back?" asked Carpsong.  Then they took off to find the blue gem.  "The map says the blue gems has been broken, and that Ruto's earrings are fragments of it," TCM stated.  They arrived at the underwater cave of Aquata on the planet Aquamentalis.  They raced into the cave, then Ruto lost her earrings.  After that, Ruto cryed so much that a restaurant could run for 50 years without buying anymore salt.  At the end of the cave was a giant, cheery, evil flower.  Ruto growled at it and then slashed it's petals off with her fins.  Then the midle of the daisy flipped over and made Ruto jump up, flip and jab it's face with her fins.  Then the flower withered and turned to dust, in the middle was her earrings along with a necklace.  "The red gems is broken too, one piece is with us and another piece is in the depths of Hyrule castle.  As soon as they got there, Zelda's head amulet was taken by a bird.  After that, she was incredibly bratty.  They found a hole in the floor, and when they jumped though it, they were in TP Hyrule castle.  "Eeeh!" shrieked Midna as they ended up in the bathroom.  Midna pulled on her dress and asked, "What are you doing here?".  "Shut up you poopy butt-head" yelled Zelda.  Then TP Ganondorf walked in, poofed Midna's hair so it looked like a butt, and then stuck her in the toilet.  "Thankgoodness Link isn't here," Midnight thought.  Midna was one of Link's many fangirls, and link hates Ganondorf so Link would dump water on him (Gerudos hate water, it makes them melt). "Have you seen a red gem around here?" asked Midnight.  "Well, the sages locked me in the dungeon, and there was a red gem in there, or maybe it was blood, it in the torture chamber too" stated Ganondorf. "Ointbalm is right sinch" agreed Midna, "Imagine we remember cricket..beetle booth, "Midna! you forgot your English again, didn't you!" asked Ganondorf. "I don't care veggies!" snapped Midna. "To the dungeon," yelled Midnight.  Written on the dungeon wall was a riddle.
A DECK OF CARDS
A queen, 3 kings, 3 quee daughters, no sons,
with no suits these people are.  Who am I?

"Well thats a weird riddle", said TCM.  "Well a princess is a daughter of the king or queen, and me, Carpsong, and Midna are princesses", stated Ruto.  ."I saw queen of Mossland, but that was a long time ago".  said Midnight.  "Does Zant count as a king?"  asked Midna.  "He's stupid, but he's a king, I don't if I count or not, but my older brother would", replied Ganondorf.  "I fund a sin!"  exclaimed Clud.  TCM scribbled "us" on the  sign.  When they opened the door, Zelda ran in, grabbing her head amulet in the middle of the room.  Then a darknut fell from the cieling.  Zelda gasped she had an idea, she grabbed her head amulet again and whacked the darknut with it.  After a couple of smacks, it collapsed and a shimmering necklace appeared in the middle.  All the gems of grox floated around in the air.   The purple gem split open, and said "I contain your courage, Carpsong, without me you are a scaredy-cat." The blue gem flew around and said "Ruto, I am your happiness without me you are suicidal" Then the red gem said, "Zelda, I am your kindness, wihtout me, you are a snotty brat."  "The orange gem is in the Twilight Palace," said TCM.  "I sense high energy coming from Midna's hat, it may have gem fragments in it" said 12,000,004. "One question, 12,000,004, what is your real name? asked TCM.  "I mean, only the grox call me 9994 so don't you have a real name?"asked TCM. "I-I-I-I am Ganondorf's teenage clone, some people call me kid Ganondorf I'm fine with that", he replied.  They soon arrived at the place, and ran to Zant's throne. "OINTBALM!" yelled Midna, as Midnight charged at the throne, smashing it to smithereens. "Hechaw, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew," yelled Zant.  "Will you shut up, Zant" yelled TP Ganondorf.  They had to resist laughing at him, as he was wearing a chicken costume..  "Really Ganondorf, a chicken?" scoffed Zelda's evil twin.  "Hey! a ghost Cuchoo is running around destroying everything, so maybe it won't hurt me if I dress like it's chicks", he answered.  "I bought one in pink for you," he said.  "Ohhh, pink." she squealed.  "Say cheese!" said Mikau.  "Don't you think of putting that on your blog, Mikau", scowled the two.  Midna grabbed her gem and said, "let's go".  They soon arrive at Master sword, er Rusty sword lake. "It was much cleaner when I was here" replied Mikau."heard the sword's condition changes the lakes's color," he stated.  "If the sword rusted to nothing, would the lake vanish?"asked 12,000,004.  "Yup" answered Mikau.  They leaped into the lake and saw a large rock witha  rusty sword jammed in it.  As if from nowhere, Link fell from the sky, and pulled out the sword.  Ruto, Zelda, and Carpsong all screamed, there was a zombie WW Ganondorf behind Link.  They all ran, and Link soon followed up.  They stopped in a alley in the underwater land of Zyrule.  "I remember the grox giving me a name...I think it was Falax, which means gem-head in grixian", said 12,000,004.  "Are you grixian?' asked TCM.  "I believe it was the grixians who make the finest artificial beings", she added.   "I guess I one", answered Falax.  Then they raced through the streets of Zyrule until they reached Zomon's tower.  Then a zombie version of the Ganondorf they were trying to save.  Falax leaped and bit the zombie's leg, severing it and making it fall.  Link then pryed the green gem from the zombie.  "Since the yellow gem is with us, let's go get Gonox," said Midnight.  
-At GONOX'S CLIFF-
"We made it, guys", Midnight announced.  "I've been waiting for you guys" a mysterious voice cackled.  Gonox leaped out and snatched  .Carpsong's crown, Ruto's earrings, Zelda's head amulet, Midna's hat, Link's new sword, at then the gem from Falax's head.  "When they wake up, the kitty will scared of herself, the fish-faced freak will be crying her eyes out, pretty princess will be a brat, imp girl will be a mean but, swordie will be acting like kitty, and gerudo will be a vegetable,"bwahaha," sneered Gonox.  "Gonox you never told me you were able to speak hylian grox" a lady said.  "Whah-who was that," he stammered.  "It is I the real Purlax," she said.  "M-M-Mom?  I thought I killed you," he growled.  "Silly Gonox, I am a tailed grox, Gonox you can't make a good disguise, you can't play guitar, you can't sing, and did you get that outfit from a  garage sale?" she complained. "Aw Din," Gonox sighed "I should have made gems for the cats and dragons."  "Here goes" grinned Blackfoot, and he peed on Gonox's metal leg.  Gonox stumbled and dropped the purple gem.  "Pretty colors" sighed Carpsong, then she sprang up and threw a dress at Gonox, which confused him.  Ruto grabbed her earrings, glared at Gonox, and then kicked his butt.  He dropped Zelda's head amulet, and Zelda snatched it away And kicked Gonox too".  I don't care about the hat, but the gem and sword I want", Gonox muttered.  Then Dark link, riding on Midnight charged at Gonox knocking the objects from his hands and him off the cliff.  Meanwhile Oot Ganondorf led Gonox's prisoners to Gonox's cliff.  "I'm glad I practiced TETs in school, I can extract his triforce fix, the gem, and not have my clone be a vegetable",  he thought.  He grabbed Falax and repaired the gem and they all lived happily ever after the end, I couldn't think of anything better.